In Loco Parentis

Yeah, I wish.

I was raised my real parents in a two parent household. My parents aren’t perfect but they did the best they knew how to do. I’m pretty sure they love me, I’m even almost certain my mother does. I know they want what’s best for me. I love them back. Well, I love my mother and I’m working up affection for my father.

My parents are typical salt of the earth folk. They’re traditional moderate to conservative Kuwaitis. They struggle to give me freedom within limits they see fit; after all I am an unmarried daughter living in their household. They expect me to honor and obey them, as they expect it of all their children.

I do love them, and on the day they need it I plan on being there them as they have been for me. To this day I rely on their financial and moral support. They provide me with all the luxuries that they can afford. Yet sometimes I dream of leaving them behind and never looking back.

I’m not out to my parents or anyone else in my family. I don’t plan on ever coming out to them. I don’t want to lose what love and respect they have for me. Also, I’m terribly fond of being alive.

I love my family, but I don’t trust them. I believe without a doubt that if they found out who I really was, they would harm me both emotionally and physically. I don’t know for sure what they would do and I hope that I’ll never find out.

I don’t think they’d actually murder me. Would they? Perhaps they’ll only lock me up. Take away my dignity. Take away my freedom.

I’m still trying to come to terms with that knowledge. It’s not a pleasant thing to have to do.