All Fucked Up.
A few years back, I’d have never thought of going to a Baskin Robins and getting a flavor I’d already tried. Once I tried to dye my hair blue (it was too dark to make a difference). I tried to learn skateboarding at a heavy and highly uncoordinated 17. I wrote terrible poetry and attempted to write what was possibly the world’s worst rap. My grades were not good enough to get me into university. I was miserable and felt like my life had no potential (with my family the options seemed to be either get into college or find a way to erase myself from the timeline), but it was freeing in a way. I was a sheltered kid leading a boring life, but I thought I was the biggest screw up that ever existed.
At 19, I graduated with a GPA that got me into university, barely. In Kuwait, you have to decide what you want to study before you register for university. I flipped a coin and went into business school where I was an unexceptional student, albeit one that was taking way too long to graduate. I made a few friends, had a few laughs, and shirked as much responsibility as I could. I tried to rebel, and decided to change majors. Took some time off to get my shit together, and spent it taking to my bed with the vapors. I watched a lot of porn, read some Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, ate my weight in junk food, and spent way too much time reading fanfiction exploring teh gay subtext (and turning it into the mansex) between the male leads of several tv shows. Then, with no real desire to do so, I went back to school.
Soon I will be starting what is hopefully going to be my last year of being an undergrad at Kuwait University. Today for the first time in too long, I ordered an ice-cream flavor I haven’t tried before. About one week ago I started this blog. A month ago I submitted an essay to the editor of the newsletter of a gay women’s group to which I belong. A year ago I met that women’s group for the first time. Two years ago, I came back to school. Five years ago I finished high school.
I’m starting to think that it is possible for me to get my act together.
4 comments:
If u want to of course u can ;)
Theres a gay women's group in Kuwait?
It’s never too late to dye your hair blue or go back to school!
delicately realistic Thank you. Not in Kuwait. :)
de campo I may have out grown the blue thing. Purple now... that's a different story.
Motivation....
You have it.
but you need to direct it.
To start whit Make a to do list.
Then figure what steps you need to take now to achieve the goals you set yourself.
Post a Comment