Only without the doctorate and the singing. Basically, just the horrible part.
Yesterday I let my fear get the best me. Yesterday I proved myself a coward. Yesterday I felt sick and ashamed and very very small. Yesterday I played the homophobe.
A Little Background:
So I’m taking a 400 level ethics related class, which more or less functions as a discussion group. The instructor isn’t exactly a dick but she gets on my nerves. She stated that religion will not factor into our discussion because it’s hard to find a consensus which you know, thank you Yahweh/God/Allah/Buddha (Hey Brendon, does Buddha fit here or is he more of a Moses/Jesus/Mohammed figure? Please excuse my ignorance in all things non Abrahamic). Then the other week she brings abortion up as an example of something that is legal but not moral (in the States of course because god forbid we have that sort of thing here) which made me go, ”Whoa Nelly,” because wait what now?
So I question where the immoral part comes from, and that just because one person considers an act immoral does not necessarily make it so. She says something about scale and denial of victim and how murder is murder. I point out that it’s murder only if you consider a fetus human, which a lot of people don’t, but she waves it away, claims it as Neutralization and that abortion isn’t what we’re talking about and mlves on.
I’m the only one who spoke out, the only one who thought what she said was wrong, hell the only one who admits to liberal leanings. Fuck it though, it’s not like I’m having abortions on the sly. It’s easy to defend something you’re somewhat removed from.
The Main Event, Sort Of:
Yesterday’s discussion was about media as ethics carriers. So what does she bring up? How the Liberal Western Brainwashing Media is representing the Sick Fuck Gays as Normal, or something of the sort. Now, I could have stayed quiet, I could have. But I didn’t, because that would have been odd for me.
So I made a couple of comments just to show how abhorrent I found that business before ‘joking’ that they probably considered ‘them’ to be part of society, so they included them for diversity’s sake just like black Asian and Hispanic characters. Just to prove my Straight Cred I made a couple of scoffing asides to the girl sitting next to me. It was just a couple of minutes of the entire discussion but it feel endless.
Why did I do that? Because I’m not used to feeling so exposed and vulnerable, and I hated it. Because all wishful thinking aside, I can’t come out, I just can’t, I'm not brave enough. Because I’m a gutless fucking coward who is never going to stand up for her beliefs. Because I don’t want to lose the liking and respect of people I don’t even fucking care about.
So I’m angry at myself, and sickened by the truth of who i reall am when all is said and done. I’m mad at my professor for being a stupid cunting fuck. I’m just, god so disappointed in myself and ashamed for not having the courage of my convictions.
In slightly related news: Goodbye month and a week of being smoke-free.
What I’m Listening to Right Now: Saga of The Ageing Orphan – Thin Lizzy
PS. Those who can do, those who can't read about those who do, sort of. The Kids Aren't Alright by samdome. A fake Vanity Fair article about Tony Stark AKA Iron Man. This is Tony Stark at his best. If you know, he was real, and was the Tony Stark that lived inside my head. So good, and realistic. Great voice, great analysis of the character, just amazing overall.
3 comments:
You live in a non secular tribal society that stones child victims of rape.
Please be careful.
Purist will argue that Buddha doesn’t belong there since he isn’t a God or even related to a God by birth. Not even a cousin twice removed. Just a cool dude. However, there is a Buddhist Ethical Theory recognized in the field of applied ethics.
I consider myself something of a moral relativist.
The argument of being able to be moral without being religious is of endless debate amongst the philosophical community. There are very few universals in what we may consider moral. Generally, taking a life is considered immoral. From that, I can see why abortion was labeled immoral. It’s a drawn out debate and I’ll see if I can find any off my notes on the subject. Essentially, for every argument made there is a counter argument and the whole clusterfuck keeps rolling along. There is fuel for you fight out there (go to the philosophy links on my page).
Are you talking at all about meta-ethics in this class?
stephen: Come now it's not bad. We merely lock them away and urge them to 'take care' of themselves. Blegh. I am careful. Ish. I do try to keep a low profile, despite what my better nature urges me to do. Don't worry, things aren't as dire as I paint them!
de campo: You forget that Muslims don't consider prophets to be related to God. There's actually been some talk about the actual Buddha being a non-messenger prophet. Yes, We're in ur relijinz stealin ur simbols.
I'd subscribe to moral relativity with a few reservations, as I do think there are *some* absolutes. Mostly to do with how one's actions affect others.
I don't think the abortion thing is going to come up in class, I think she just used it as a fleeting example because she assumed we were all agreed on the subject. I've never really seen a link with being a good (insert religion here) and being a good person.
The bitch of it is that it made no sense whatsoever to bring up either abortion or homosexuality since the class is titled Social Issues is IS. Oddly enough, Info Systems have not even come up.
No meta-ethics since the class is focused on descriptive ethics mostly. A few philosophies, moral development, psychological processes. All we do is read different papers that she selects for us and then put them in context.
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